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Mymother and sister would be so ashamed of me. I felt trapped. I nodded myacquiescence. "Okay," I squeaked. "Okay. Go ask him," I told her.Mandy smiled sweetly, pleased with my decision. She pulled me to herchest and hugged me. "It will be fine Sissy," she tried to assure me."You'll see. You'll see."Mandy opened her closet door and we walked out. Just before opening herdoor she said, "I want you to go to your room and change. Put on a sexynighty and make yourself look appealing. I'll explain the terms to Jimand take him to my room. Give us some time. I'll warm him up. Then, youcome join us. Okay?"I nodded my head, my sense of control feeling lost forever. I felt likeAlice disappearing down the rabbit hole. How had I let myself get thislost?Numbly, I walked to my bedroom and began removing my uniform. In fourdays I would be giving a vow of lifetime faithfulness to Grace. Or wouldI? Could I? Should I? These questions began rebounding within my brain.I selected a. She’d thought about kissing him several times that day—imagined it, that is. Every time she’d imagined it her lips had tingled as if she didn’t receive his kiss then her lips would yearn untouched forever for his blessing. It made her giddy. She felt if he ever actually did kiss her, she might just explode. Unfortunately, he probably never would, so she needn’t worry.‘Do you need a ride today?’ ‘Oh—what?’ She said. She’d been too busy imagining him kissing her again that she’d completely missed what he’d been saying.‘I said, ‘Do you need a ride today?’’ ‘Oh.’ She thought about it. ‘Well, if you’re really okay with it, I’d really appreciate that, yes, please.’ ‘Sure. For you, it’s no problem.’She smiled shyly at him, thinking that he probably meant it was no problem for HER because he thought of her like a little sister. He felt obligated to her; not attracted, and while that was very sweet in its own right, it wasn’t quite what she craved.‘Well, I better go check the front,’ she said,.
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